Honor your mother and father.

When I asked the Lord what I was supposed to write about tonight, I heard these words.   “Honor your mother and father.”

Exodus 20:12 (KJV) Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

 

When I read the commandment above I immediately thought, “What does honor mean?”  I know that I am supposed to respect my parents, and treat them right, but is that it?  And I wondered if I was missing something!!!   

So, I typed in the words, “honor your mother and father,” and hit enter. 

One of the things that I found in my search was a very good article on this same subject by Ann, a lady who was at one time a Sunday School Teacher.  




And to be truthful, I don’t think that I have ever heard this commandment explained in a better way.   I must admit, I would NOT have known what to say, if I had been in this situation!!!  And I know that God must have given this lady these words!!!  I am NOT going to share the whole article with you although I am going to share one thought.  To read Ann’s article, just click on this link.  http://ladyannoftexas.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Honor-Your-Mother-and-father 

I would NOT have thought to share this thought with you.  I would NOT have thought to tell you that I know that at times it is hard to honor a parent who has not acted like a parent to you!!!  I would NOT have even thought to say that some folks did NOT have good parents who took care of them and loved them and treated them right!!!





But God knew!!!  He knew that some folks would NOT be good parents, so HE put this verse in the Bible.  He wrote this verse so that people would know how to they were supposed to raise their kids!!! 




Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.



After reading Ann’s article, it seems so very important to tell you that God knew that some parents would NOT act right!!!  And I must tell you that even if your parents weren’t good parents, you have to forgive them!!! You have to forgive them for their sake and for your own sake!!! 

WHAT I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU, THAT I HAVE GAINED FROM THIS ARTICLE, IS THAT WE HAVE TO FORGIVE OUR PARENTS FOR NOT BEING THE KIND OF PARENTS THAT WE THINK AND KNOW THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!!  WE HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM FOR NOT LOVING US THE WAY THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE LOVED US!!!   AND WE MUST REMEMBER THAT EVEN PARENTS AREN’T PERFECT AND THAT THEY MAKE MISTAKES!!!  SO, WE HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM!!!

We have to love them as God does!!!   We have to treat them with respect and be nice to them.  And no, when we are grown, that doesn’t mean that we have to do everything that they want us to do!!!  After all, we have to do the things that the Lord tells us to do!!!  Ezekiel 20:19   

You know, earlier today I was bragging on my dad and I was telling how wonderful he is, but you know, before that I was telling about my biological father.  

You see, I am one of those folks who are truly BLESSED to have been adopted!!!  The Lord blessed me with a wonderful set of parents who loved me and took care of me!!!  They watched over me and took care of me and my brother.  We were both adopted as babies, and because of that we had no idea who our birth parents were. 

However, the Lord blessed me to find my birth mother after doing some research and my parents took me to meet her!!!!  It was scary, but awesome at the same time!  I have gone and spent time with her on several occasions, mostly during the summer or on Christmas vacation. 





While I was there at that first meeting, she told me who my birth father was and I arranged to meet him a while later.   After I met him and his wife, I went one summer and stayed with them for about a week.  I got to meet my little brother, Kevin and his son, as well.    

And I used to talk to my birth dad on the phone from time to time.  But because he didn’t raise me, we don’t really have a father-daughter relationship!!!  You see, when I met him, I already had a good daddy, and so that spot was filled!!!  And because we have spent very little time together, we don’t have much of a relationship.

Do I have to be kind, considerate and respectful to him??  Yes, I do!!!  Do I have to love him and do I love him???  Yes, I do!!!  Do I have to forgive him?  Yes, I do!!! 

Why would I need to forgive him, you might ask??? 




I have learned and I now know that when a child is adopted, no matter how much you love them, they also know that someone gave them away or gave them up.   This causes a sense of abandonment and it causes pain and heartache!!!  They oftentimes feel unwanted and this can cause anger and hurt!!!  It is something that ONLY GOD can fix!!!  They have to ask God to help them!!!

This is where having parents who know to pray for you and plead the Blood of Jesus over your mind is such an awesome Blessing!!!   When parents know to plead the blood over that child’s mind, that sense of abandonment cannot take root!!!





So, earlier today, as I spoke about my birth father to someone, I didn’t speak kindly of him!!   You see, I guess that I would really like to have a relationship with him, but I don’t!!  I did try for a while, but it didn’t really work out.  Do I feel to keep trying?  No!!! 

Let me be very plain!!!  Do I care if he has a million dollars???  No, I could care less!!!  Do I care if he leaves me anything in his will?  No!!  I really don’t want or expect anything like that from him.

Do I wish that he would call me on my birthday and say Happy Birthday???  Sure I do!!!  Do I call him on his birthday and wish him a Happy Birthday?  No, I don’t.  Do I mean to disrespect him by NOT calling?   NO!  No, I don’t!!! 

Do I think of my birth father very often?  No, I rarely ever think of him.  So, why did I think of him today?  Someone else wrote about their biological (birth) father in a post and I remembered that I had one, too. 




So, let me ask you a question.   Do you think that since he did NOT raise me and wasn’t really around, that I have the right to disrespect him or blame him for NOT being there for me?  Do I have the right to resent him for not knowing that I existed until I was 32?

NO!!!  I still have to honor him as my father in that I have to be kind, courteous, and respectful to him!!!  That means that even when I talk to others about him, I cannot disrespect him!!!  That means that I cannot say bad things about him!!!




That means that I must forgive him for NOT knowing that I existed for so many years and for NOT being there for me then and now!!!   I must forgive this man that I barely know and rarely think about because it is for my benefit and for his benefit!!! 

And now as I forgive him, I also ask the Lord to take any remnants of hurt, heartache, resentment and pain away!!  In choosing to forgive him, I release both of us!!!   

Colossians 3:12-17 (CEB)

¹² Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  

¹³ Be tolerant with each other and, if someone has a complaint against anyone, forgive each other. As the Lord forgave you, so also forgive each other.

¹⁴ And over all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

¹⁵ The peace of Christ must control your hearts—a peace into which you were called in one body. And be thankful people.

¹⁶ The word of Christ must live in you richly. Teach and warn each other with all wisdom by singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

¹⁷ Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him.

So, today, I say to you, whether your parents treated you right or NOT forgive them and go on with your life!!!   Most everyone has something that they are mad at one of their parents for.  Try to remember that they are people, too!!!  Try to look at them as real people for just a moment and NOT as your parents!!!  Then forgive them for their mistakes!!! 

Exodus 20:12 (AMP) Regard (treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you.

And here is the best part!!!  Did you know that God promises us that when we honor our fathers and mothers, we will have long life on this earth???




Ephesians 6:1-3 (NKJV)

¹ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

² “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

³ “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”